PROCASTINATION

What cause us to procrastinate?

Procrastination can be produced in us by many things. Picture tells us a few of the causes but there is more to those. I have been sitting in front of my computer since six in the morning and I still have not accomplished what I needed to have done by this afternoon. I have Google many phrases, themes and things but nothing that has to do with what I was supposed to do. Could it be that my mind does not deems it important? Would it be that my mind has been distracted to other things? 

I have completed other tasks such as finding information that I wanted to get for a while, changed passwords to sites, but not doing my work for my class. I have overdue papers, notes from classes to re-organize and study for mid-term test in two days. Yet, I am sitting with a stare blank look when I open my class files.

I am definitely not in a lazy mood nor I am afraid of failing at my class work. I have cooked a savory and tastefully smelling roast. Also some rice to go with it and needless to say that I have completed laundry through the day. I think it is more of the perfectionism in me that since I am a bit rusty on the theme, I am afraid of making a mess. Therefore, in the meantime, I am here writing about how I have felt all morning instead of making myself do my class work. I know that by the end of the day I will be suffering the consequences from my lack of discipline.

I know that I cannot make time go back and/or regain any. But one thing for sure is that I will have it done. I can't think of anything that will trouble me more than to lower my GPA score and I am siting on a fairly decent 3.66 so far. I am hoping to bring it higher but if I do not start completing my class works on a better time, it will not happen. Therefore we must look at how to cut procrastination from the root. We need to push ourselves looking to the outcome and the great feeling of knowing what we have been able to accomplish. Remember about goal settings earlier? Yeap! That is how they get accomplished also. It is all about motivating ourselves and move on forward to the final reward. Which it brings me to a great Scripture.

“Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him.“You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

Matthew 14:28-31(NIV)

EVEN IF IT TAKES ME THE LAST MINUTES OF THIS DAY, I WILL BEGIN MY WORK NOW!

Now You Have It, Now You Don't

Now You Have It, Now You Don't

This is an interesting phrase that more than often is revealed in our lives and we barely pay much attention on less it is a change that is huge in our lives. But it happens almost every day.

You were young this morning and now a day has been gone and there is no way to get it back. All we have is another day in front of us, if we make it one more day. 

I have lost my family in a way that it has hurt more than I could ever imagine. Maybe I was ready to loose my parents and my family but never thought of loosing my children in a despicable way. Nevertheless, many have lost their spouses and children to death which is not my case.

I sometimes think what would I do if I loose my children to death. The mourning would be horrible. The time will pass and will miss them but life continues. The problem lies on how to continue with life. 

I struggle with this every day and I have not lost them to death. They have completely rejected me and I barely have a clue as to why or what. I have felt sometimes as I am not worthy of living since they are so ashamed of me, and all I recall is trying my best to keep them with me as long as possible. To be there when they needed and to teach them the meaning of life. 

I was wrong in their eyes. They only see my flaws. They never saw any good in me. Therefore, rejection has been a huge part of my life since birth.

I was given away at birth. That was my first rejection. later in life when I managed to speak with her and be friendly, she wanted me to give her my firstborn because I was too young. I fought that one and stopped barely talking to her. I know it was hard for her to understand and I was settled that I was not giving my child away as I was given away myself by her. Storms never ceased. They kept coming. Lack of employment, and adequate shelter for my children always drew me to find other ways to provide. I never did drugs or did anything illegal. My grandparents raised me well.

But storms keep coming and all I can do is seek shelter and do the best I can. My sweet little Joseph is the one that is caught up in the middle of a storm that someone else began and got sent my way. That person knows who she is and what she wanted and how to get it. Very determined woman, I would say. Nevertheless, what we do wrong to others will hunt us for the rest of our lives. One might seem mighty and powerful but there is no peace in the sub-unconscious and it will move outwards sooner if not later in life. 

There is nothing that we cannot uphold in this life. We are capable of many things. The best is always yet to come for each and everyone of us. The key is to be humble and allowed to be calmed during the storm, to be hold and to be with peace inside knowing that everything that happens will have an outcome.

 I have been so blessed in the most difficult times in my life. I have met people with such a beautiful heart. I have young women that call me, mom, mother and treat me with such respect and loving care. I have met people that have done more than enough for me such as getting up early on their day off to accompany me to the hospital and stay by my bedside. People that pray for me and my children. 

Just these days I had this beautiful young lady who is going through a huge storm in her life and spoke to me with such confident and love that made me realize that God is always with me. Silly me just like you, forget that God is in complete control. That there is good in people and that we should never give up on anyone. She is about 30 and she is a very strong woman that I admire. I am honored to be taking classes with her. Therefore, why wait for my older children to come home? I have other children to care for and I am blessed by them. I will continue to pray for my children to come home and continue to request that what they have done is not repeated in their lives because I do not want them to suffer as I have. For my Joseph I will continue to fight. The Lord is with those who love him and He is the Love of My Life!

Are you ready to move forward and not waist one more minute?

Peace of Mind

What To Do when Things are not Completely Clear

Many things in life we expect them to be as clear as possible. It is what gives us the extra passion to go through the goals we have set before us and sometimes is what dare us to take certain risks.

I have personally struggle plenty with many things in my life that are so uncertain. Things and circumstances that no matter how much I look at them and try to rearrange the thoughts, nothing comes clear. And by the way, I wear glasses!

 

But many times my whole brain is as clear as this one. Definitely nothing in it to begin with. Or perhaps like I have nothing more to add or subtract. 

 

Many if not always, we have too many things in the brain. Many ideas that each pull towards their own way. The uncertainty of what would be the correct path for each individual idea. The unrest of the many hours in the night we spend trying to use the quietness of our solitude to clear their paths. 

Our brain is marvelous. It is simple yet complicated at the same time. It depends on which would you focus on. As humans we tend to naturally focus on its complexity. We tend to explain everything and find tangible solutions. We study the storm and try to figure out how to get out of it. 

The battle for my Joseph has been a storm that never ceases and probably never will. Just completed another paperwork and be ready to take it to court once again. Will they notice the pattern of me having to fight for his right to spend more time with his mother or will they look at the pattern of the constant filling of paperwork and trouble then with the simple task of my child's right to spend time with me? 

I will not know until I am there. In the meantime I need to be confident that not just for me but for everyone in this world, there is the rest that our Lord is always in the midst of our storms.

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives.  Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."  

John 14:27 (NIV)

It is so comforting to know and even better to be able to feel the peace that he gives to all of us is unconditionally. The only requirement is to personally and individually grab hold of it.  

You see, the rhyme is so very truth, that 

He got the Whole World in His Hands!

Are you in His Hands?

New Year's Resolutions

Paper holds everything and anything you put on it

This is the time were many have written many New Year Resolutions that were made with the best intend but definitely are only good for the paper they were written on. We are about to enter the second week of the year and many are working very hard in the commitment of those resolutions. Many made exercise while others made financial resolutions. Some made relationships and other commitments to self of what they are expecting to accomplish in the new year. Perhaps one of our biggest mistakes when making such, is the non-realization of the steps needed for them to be accomplished and the obstacles we might encounter in the way of those. 

When making resolutions or goals it is best to keep them as simple as possible making sure that obstacles are included and ways to either work with the obstacles or ways to remove them in order to reach the goal we have set before us. Seems simple but it can be difficult if we are the kind of people that always have to find the extra in everything. After all, it will be worthwhile if we work with a goal and add everything that can possibly go wrong. This will somehow minimize failures and deceptions due to the high expectation we had at the beginning.

A couple of personal resolutions that I want to have written in my heart and my mind are:

1. To start each day with a positive attitude. That when I wake up besides of what I always do, is to think of the good things that I will be able to accomplish with God's help. I look forward to the anticipation of accomplishment in a daily basis. It might not be a perfect day but I am sure that positive events will overthrow those that were negative. 

2. To bathe myself with happiness. After all, I am the one responsible for my own happiness and not those around me or those I encounter throughout my day. 

3. This one I know it will be a challenging one: To love unconditionally everyone I am allowed to. I say allowed to because sometimes we find people that will not welcome any act of love and think that it is being done in order to get something back. Therefore, since they are not wanting to have to give anything, they do not accept when someone does something out of just pure love for them.

4. Fourth will be hard too and I know it could be for many as well and that is: To worry less and to trust God more.  With the business of daily life and an attribute to human nature, worrying is something that is like part of our DNA. But we need to learn daily that we need to worry less. If it was not possible, there is always tomorrow!

5. Lastly, it will be to forget the past and look forward to what lies ahead. This could be a minute by minute resolution. 

In the meantime, I will strive to continue with my life motto:

All Things New

Mustard Field

 Again he said, “What shall we say the kingdom of God is like, or what parable shall we use to describe it?  It is like a mustard seed, which is the smallest of all seeds on earth. Yet when planted, it grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.”

Mark 4:30-32 (NIV)

A new year has begun and many goals were made as well as wishes to others and dreams for us few hours ago. Others were alone and even some were with loved ones and yet lonely on the inside. 

Hopefully the majority spent those special moments with family and friends and had a very significant end of year welcoming the new year. 

The Lord gives and takes away. Many have rules to live by and no matter what effort an old friend, family member or a considered enemy will make, it is not tolerated or conceived unless it is a full turn. Phrase like, "If they do not come here to me, I have no intention of going out of my way to them."

Sad it is to hear that phrase on the new hours of a new year and after events that were not expected.

I received a text message from an unknown number but knowing I have friends throughout the country, I replied, "who is this?"

A replied to my question came and it was my son whom had not spoken to me all year. The only text sent on Christmas day was a generic one. "Merry Christmas from the ??????? Family"

Of course I know the family but it was generic and I stood on not to answer and never did. However, last night when the reply was, "Your son... ???",

my heart pounded and I rushed to call him to tell him how much I love him and miss him. I asked to speak with my first grandchild and it was a moment that I did not care who began the conversation or the effort to establish that connection. 

Yet again I was reached by what most likely is called a "joy killer" Someone that has known my pain for my children almost too well and had decided to let me know that what happened was not significant because I should not have been text but called. That it only showed that there was no intention to hear my voice but to confirmed that I was desperate and I would call. 

Well, I understand that point of view but it does not matter how it started but that it started. I might not hear from my son again but he reached out a small bit and I opened myself completely to him. I had joy in my heart to hear my baby boy earlier and then my oldest son and my first grandson's voice. 

God is always there for us and he is available. We go small, tired and scared to Him and He opens His arms wide, from East to West, from one scared hand to the other.

Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will gather your children from the east and gather you from the west.  

Isaiah 43:5

Would you say I did wrong?