The End Only Means A New Begining

The anticipation of a new beginning

The anticipation of a new beginning is always a little stressful. It is not knowing what will happens next. No matter how much we think and feel assure of the next step in life, we always have that little hesitation inside that lets us know that we are doing something we do not know an exact outcome for. 

It is the same with each and every day. We seldom notice because we let ourselves be caught up with the busyness of life. Most of us get up in the morning knowing we have to shower, brush teeth, get dressed and head out the door to go to work and some just have to begin getting others ready to take them to school. Perhaps the most desired routine is to just hurry getting ready to stay home and work on our jobs from home or just take the day in under a tree of with others that live where we are at.

No matter what we do, we do not think intrinsically of the new beginning of every day. Even a new beginning can be every other moment throughout our day and we still fail to notice.

This year is ending for most of us and many prepare to make new year's resolutions, planning new goals to reach in the new year to come and other might just procrastinate on planning for the ahead to come time. I say this because I am one that do not plan or sketch many goals. Most of my past life I made plans and had goals but lately, I really do not have that urge. I should do more planning. But like the Psalmist said, 

" In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps"

Proverbs 16:9 NIV

This does not mean that we should not plan. On the contrary, we should always make plans that are as assertive as possible. And yes, the Lord will guide the steps to reach those plans. The importance is to have faith that God will always be there no matter what. He will keep you company and will never give up on us. At the beginning of this year I had planned to go back to college. It seemed very promising and everything was marching the right way. But there is no door that man cannot open that God had closed, neither is a door that God opens that man can close. I was not able to go back to college because of simply 30 to 45 minutes. I needed to be off work at least 30 to 45 minutes to be able to make it to class one evening a week. I had already done all he paperwork and was almost certain of what God was leading me to do was the right thing. 

Nevertheless, I told the counselor, that it was not the right time and that the door will open if God's will is for me to go back to college.  Little did I realized that God had a stone for me to remove before He will open that door for me. 

With fear but never stopping, I began to move a huge rock in my life and it paid off. I was able to face the court systems in Seminole County Florida and was able to see my child that I had not seen for the past three years. It was for 29 days and they were amazing. Very expensive financially to the point that I am still trying to catch up in behind bills but God allowed me to see my son, to enjoy him and to realize that God has always been there for me and for my son. Even right before my son coming to be with me, God arranged those minutes I needed at the beginning of the year. God provided me with a full hour. God knew I needed 30-45 minutes to make it to college class but he provided me a full hour and I was able to spend more time with my child.

Two weeks after my son left and becoming very depressed for loosing of him once again, I received a call from college and I was able to begin. Today at almost the end of the year, even without much planning, I am a senior in college for the second time in my life. This time I am trying to do something that is led by God and not of my own. I am pursuing a career to work with the less fortunate ones. A career that I was told by many people and I always replied, No, I am not doing that because I do not like it. Now, I see that it has been something I have always done and it does brings joy and peace unto my heart and soul. I am a firm believer that life is all about second and third chances. 

So, come on and let's plan for a new beginning together. Let's plan in our hearts something beautiful and have full faith that God will bring it to pass!

What are you waiting for?

Merry Christmas to all!

I have to wish you all a Happy and Merry Christmas to my followers as well as apologizing for taking so long to let you all know the deepest of my thoughts. I will do better because I do not want to stay too long in the waiting game for each season that life has for me and I do want you all to do the same. I know some of the stories of some of you and how keep at the waiting game as well. All I ask is that if any follower makes a post comment, please refrain from course of filthy language. I do agree that many might not agree with my point of view of things but nevertheless should be less. We are all mature to understand each and everyone's differences and should accept them even if not agreeing with them. 

Now that we have all entered a new season in life, let's rejoice of the greatest gift God has provided for mankind and enjoy it as well as passing it on to others.

THE WAITING GAME


Sometimes we just wait and wait and wait and keep on waiting saying that we will never give up on waiting. But the reality of the wait is not doing anything while waiting. I am big at this. I waited for 3 years for the father of my child to bring him home. I just waited and became impatient but was able to keep on waiting. 

Waiting does nothing until we do something about what we are waiting for. I realized that in a very odd way. Still today, I have played the same waiting game.

Back in January and February of this year I did something about the waiting of my Joseph. I went to seek for justice. I was not sure if it would work due to the broken justice system in the state of Florida as well as in the county I needed it the most to work.  But with fear and all I sailed ahead and went straight to the dock and walked out of my waiting boat. I was found right and the other party in content to court order. Another waiting game began after that. After months of replies and attempts of my ex-husband, I was able to see my loving son Joseph. It was an amazing 29 days. Not enough to soak all of the growing up he had gone through or to learn how much he has been influenced by the people that keep him away from me.  

I know that God was watching and He made it possible. God allowed those few days for people that interacted with us to see everything I mentioned was the truth and how special my child is. Of course, many said that Joseph should be with me because they saw his need for love. But that is all in the past again and the next step of the waiting game began. 

I have been waiting again and have found myself in the same wasting time as I was three years ago. I waited for them to tell me they were bringing my child on Christmas. I spent Christmas Day in the most desolated way that I could have ever imagine. Pain began just as the clock stroke midnight. 

Am I going to stay in the waiting position or am I going to do something about it?

Stepping Forward

COURAGE

What  is courage? Where does it comes from? What does it means?

How can one get enough courage?

It has been a very hard road towards moving that huge rock in front

of my life. Knowing that what is behind that rock is very difficult. The smell that will come out will be a huge impact. That rock has been hiding a huge part of me for the past three years. Nevertheless, that part of my life is very important to me. It is time for me to get back and to show that only God can really finish my life. While God allows me to wake up one more day, it means I am alive and God is on my side.

After many days of research and study and money paid for advise, seems it is beginning to pay off. Many things cost money,while others are priceless. The darkness saw its priceless light on a Valentine's Day. A real revelation of pure love.

Darkness still battling to over shadow the light but I am holding on to God's promises and His never ending strength. The day came when I had to take a stand in fear. I really thought that is was just going to be re-scheduled but the magistrate was serious and called the other party with no signs of appearance. Of course, I was going
to object, but there was no need. While I waited for almost an hour, I prayed and remembered that this battle belongs to the Lord; 




And that all this assembly may know that the Lord does not deliver by sword
or by spear; for the battle is the Lord's and he will give you into our hands."  
1 Samuel 17: 47 NASB


So, I just declared to God  that I trusted Him to have place His angel armies in the right place. And so they were. Went in and once told that the case was being heard with just me, I pulled my evidence and the case was ruled on my favor. I was speechless and more importantly tearless. All I had was a heart full of thanksgiving, praise, joy and peace. God had won one battle and glory be to His Holy Precious Name. 

I shall have time with my precious child Joseph, whom was taken away and sold out by his brothers. There is still more to battle with but God has always been in control and will always be, so His majesty will be revealed.

New Year, New Strength, New Resolutions

J U S T I C E

What is Justice? Justice is just another word that has many meanings. It depends on one's perception. It also depends on ones' level of knowledge. It is very often that this word such as many others become misused and it all depends according to the user's knowledge or benefits. 

Justice can be one of law. Law is not always just. Many cases have been known that justice was not serve correctly and as it should have been. For example, years ago in the case of O.J.Simpson and not that far back in the State of Florida, the case of Casey Anthony. Many cases go wrong and the hands of the innocent are tied or in reality, Justice was not done!

Many other cases never made it to the media attention and yet the same fate was on them and they were as hard as for the ones that were made known throughout the media to the whole nation and world.

Justice can be one of treatment. Many people are mistreated. They are not being treated justly as they deserve. Many use it as when the person do not deserve to be treated justly. What does that really means? Is it not that each one of us is a human being and therefore should be treated with justice and respect? Why are so many involved in continual judgement of others? 

Some are judged for how they look, how they dress, how they act, how they react, how they were or who they were in the past, and many other ways that are used just to avoid treating others with the justice and respect they deserve.

There is only one Justice that is fulfilled and never fails.

 God's Justice. 

The problem is that for many like me, sometimes if not often, doubt it because it is not done at the time we desire. 

The good news is that it will be done even if we are not on this earth anymore. His justice will never fail. It might take generations, but it will surely come.

I personally have been struggling with many injustices in my life. Even if I grasp the concept of Jesus and the death of Lazarus: 

Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb. It was a cave with a stone laid across the entrance. "Take away the stone", he said. "But Lord", said Martha, the sister of the dead man, "by this time there is a bad odor, for he has been there four days." Then Jesus said, "Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God." So they took away the stone.....

John 11:38-41 a

I still have not seen myself to step up to do what I need to do. I have a huge cave with an enormous giant heavy stone at its entrance. I keep waiting for Jesus to make the miracle and he is not doing it. I have to move the stone myself. I have been so scared. Not only due to the size of the stone but for the odor that lies behind it. Unfortunately for me, until I move this stone, the Glory of god will not be shown. I have tried but not hard enough. Tomorrow I will give it one more push and I am praying that strength will stay to move it completely. It will require all of me and then some. For strength, composure, money, determination and lots of courage will be needed. I asked one of the pastors at church today to pray for the season that I am entering and the steps I will be taking. All this time I have felt chained to my impossibilities, fear, disappointments, sorrows and deep pain.

It is just a leap of faith I have to take. We all should most of the time if not all the time. What have I been waiting for? Jesus came to seek the lost. Angels in heaven rejoice when a soul finds it way back to God. It is time for me too. It is time for me to go and seek the lost, recover what has been lost or taken.

 For then the glory of God will shine brighter than anyone has ever seen or imagine!

Expect The Unexpectable

What To Expect

Sometimes, many of us expect little things while others expect big things. Even the littlest of expectation can set us up for a big disappointment. We strive for changes but many times we expect others to change for us and there is where disappointments come an make our lives difficult. Sometimes we expect from others to be who we want them to be, even to give us what we want (many cases, we can give it to ourselves) or to do for us what we desire to be given.

I have learn late in life that when we place expectations on things or other people is when we hurt the most. It is surely hard to go at it alone so we expect from others to makes us feel good. Wrong. We need to know that feelings are a huge door for hurt, disappointments and even tears.

I have learned is that I can make myself happy and being content with all that I can give unto others.

I am not a big giver when it comes to financial or material things. I give as I can but I mainly give of my time and my heart. The main problem is that others might have not learned the same things I have or maybe at a lower scale. Leaving me therefore, drained and appall that no matter how much I give, people are just not thankful about any little given to them. Making me fell that I should be giving more and more constantly. They seem disappointed when I give out of love.

Sometimes, others forget that I too am a human being. That I have needs and especially the need to be able to replenish myself to be able to offer again to others. Once a therapist told me,

"You cannot give what you do not have. You have to be able to fill up the bag of goodies again in order to be able to give again."

The Bible tells me that I have been given so I can give and if I do not give, I will not be able to receive. 

Also during these past days with the celebration of Christmas, If Santa were real, and he is not, he comes only once a year. He need to replenish throughout the year to be able to come back with a bag full of goods.  Unfortunately, for many, including my children, I have never believed in Santa. It is ok for others if they want but my disappointment was so great that I decided to never lie to my children. That way they are not disappointed when I have to  let them know the truth. Therefore, If I do not lie about a Santa, then they can never call me a liar. Lol!  Funny that it was my way of thinking or at least that was my perception. I still do not celebrate Santa but I rejoice in the celebration of the day that Christ was born. The day that all humanity was given the greatest gift ever. Yet so many still fill up the malls and even with complaints of a hard economy, millions of people spent a lot for gift giving during holidays.

It is unbelieable how churches get so vastly full with the presence of people that only go on special occasions. This deeply makes me sad in a sense that we all should be paying tribute and rejoicing all the time. These are my brothers that I take to heart. Sadly, once or twice a year is not enough to honor Our Creator. It should be often if not constantly. But then again, this is my personal view. On the other hand, I am glad that they made the effort. Whether it was as a custom or to call attention to themselves or others projecting someone they might not be often. 

I guess, I too expect people to be what they should be and act how they should act.